Personal Development, Leadership, and Motivation Blog SeriesCan anyone become more assertive when the situation calls for it? I think so. What happens most of the time is us failing to recognize that we need to turn it up a notch and show some assertiveness. Instead, we continue to act without making any adjustments to our approach and then wondering why we are not being taken as seriously as we would like. Unleashing the confidence inside Not everyone is naturally assertive. Some of us are much more soft spoken and prefer softer approach to any conversation, even though somewhere deep inside we really ready to unleash that confident and assertive persona that we have been keeping closely guarded in order to be liked and accepted by others regardless of situation that we may be in. Taking the time to think and recognize Do most people have the necessary level of assertiveness within them and are capable of using it when situation call for it? Sure. However, in most cases we fail to recognize the time when we need to be more assertive, because, we forget to take time that we need and recognize that things are not going the way we expect them to, we are afraid to ask questions not wanting to appear rude or too direct, even though the other person may be waiting for us to step it up and display some confidence and assertiveness. Unfortunately, we tend to focus on what others may think of us, how they may perceive us, therefore, we keep our extensive knowledge and expertise to ourselves, thereby missing on some major opportunities in business and in life. So, it’s important not to get consumed by others’ thoughts and opinions and when appropriate voice our own views and concerns. 'It's not what you say but how you say it' What’s also important to remember, that it’s not what you say, but how you say it. Instead of telling someone what to do and how to do it, position it in the way of recommendation, inviting everyone to share their ideas, while tying in their ideas to your recommendation. People want and often expect to be part of the decision-making process, so let them. At the end of the day, you would want to be included in the decision-making process and asked for your input as well, right? Collaboration is the key of productive negotiation Collaboration is a critical part of any productive negotiation. What’s important to remember is taking the necessary time to recognize where you are in the conversation and not being afraid to share your recommendations when it is the most appropriate. This is even more critical for business leaders and managers, as people who work with them often depend on their opinions and decisions to move the business forward. By being more assertive and by sharing your views and ideas, should help you to see others think of your recommendations and create a more effective constructive argument and help them see and understand your point of view. Don’t be afraid to speak up when opportunity calls for it If you had enjoyed this module and interested in receiving free Weekly Leadership Digest, delivered straight to your inbox with latest updates, then complete quick form at the bottom of this page and you will be on your way! It's that simple! You may also click the following link and sign up: http://eepurl.com/b0ReHz
24 Comments
robin rue
4/10/2017 09:38:54 am
I definitely need to be more assertive. I am too quick to say yes because I feel bad.
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Aleksandr Kheyson
4/10/2017 09:49:43 am
Hi Robin. You are definitely not alone who feels this way. I've been there too, as I am sure many other people. I think it’s natural and easier for us to fall back into safety by agreeing and saying yes, vs. taking a step back and analyze how saying yes can impact us now and in the long term.
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4/10/2017 01:28:25 pm
I need to not be afraid of speaking. I tend to think people will judge me.
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Aleksandr Kheyson
4/10/2017 03:13:50 pm
Hi Tara. Something to keep in mind, people will always judge you, whether we are speaking in public, behind the desk, or not at all. So, with that in mind why not go for it, putting fear aside. By overcoming the fear of public speaking, you will aquire a very valuable skill that will help you in the the future.
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Aleksandr Kheyson
4/10/2017 03:16:04 pm
To add to my prior comment, I have a blog module and podcast episode dedicated to overcoming fear of public speaking. Just search for it at www.heartandmindofaleader.com
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4/10/2017 04:04:55 pm
This is something I struggle with. I am not assertive enough when I need to be.
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Aleksandr Kheyson
4/10/2017 06:33:30 pm
Thanks for sharing, Aduke. The great thing here is that assertiveness can be developed with regular practice
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Amber Myers
4/10/2017 06:54:21 pm
I am working on having more confidence. I struggle with that one, that's for sure.
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4/10/2017 07:01:46 pm
Assertive is an important trait that we should have in order to fulfill our need. This is a good article to read when we want to be assertive.
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Aleksandr Kheyson
4/10/2017 07:51:17 pm
Thank you for your feedback and comments, Maria. It's grea to hear that you found my post helpful and will be referring back to it in the future.
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4/10/2017 10:42:46 pm
I struggle with being overly assertive. I wish I could find the happy medium between the two stages. This is great advice.
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Gabor
4/10/2017 10:57:49 pm
Thank you for sharing this. I think there is a lot we all can use in our lives...
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Elizabeth O.
4/11/2017 02:27:46 am
When you work in a competitive environment, you're going to have a difficult time if you're not assertive enough. These are great pointers on how to do just that.
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Aleksandr Kheyson
4/11/2017 10:56:58 pm
Hi Elizabeth. Thank you for sharing your feedback and comments. Being in a highly competitive environment we need to be strategic to know when it is the best time to stand your ground and when to take a step back.
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4/11/2017 09:43:41 am
Its important to be assertive and take the right decision in business. I think you develop this quality when you deal with difficult people.
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Aleksandr Kheyson
4/11/2017 10:49:44 pm
Hi Sarah. Thanks for your comments. By dealing with difficult people, we certainly learn about ways to apply accertiveness when it is most appropriate not to escalate the conflict further while still conveying key takeaways for all parties
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Alayna
4/11/2017 09:51:51 am
Great topic! I think it's also easier to be assertive when you have a clear goal and put that first. When you're focused more on you goal, you don't worry as much about the thoughts and feelings of everyone around you. Sure, you should care, but caring TOO much is what stops a lot of people from being assertive.
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Aleksandr Kheyson
4/11/2017 10:44:19 pm
Hi Alayna. Thank you for sharing your feedback and perspective on assertiveness.
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Jays Simms
4/11/2017 10:11:10 am
I need to become a bit more assertive. Especially with the type of business I am in.
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Emily
4/11/2017 09:07:37 pm
Love this topic! I think most people can benefit from being more assertive and boosting our confidence. These are some great ways to go about doing that.
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Aleksandr Kheyson
4/11/2017 10:24:37 pm
Hi Emily. Thank you very much for sharing your feedback on this topic.
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4/12/2017 12:11:37 am
Years ago, I was terrified of speaking in public, however, it is through practice that I was able to overcome this fear. Assertiveness is a good trait to have which would bring your ideas to the table instead of just sitting there and nodding your head to something you are not totally in agreement with.
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Aleksandr Kheyson
4/12/2017 08:26:31 pm
Hi Annemarie. Thank you for your sharing your feedback and comments. We are capable of accomplishing anything that we set our mind to accomplish. Your story is a wonderful example that we are able to overcome our deepest fears by having strong determination and desire to succeed.
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Nichole Shirell
4/14/2017 12:56:35 pm
This is a great tool to help strengthen skills. I will pin this to my writing tips.
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