Aleksandr E. Kheyson | Heart & Mind of a Leader
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Module 135 - Life free of regrets

10/23/2018

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Living in the present and making the time for whom we love and care about vs. living in a land of our memories

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How often do you stop and appreciate everything and everyone that is present in your life today? I know that in my case, I can certainly do a much better job at this than I have done thus far. So often we get carried away by the routine that we all live in, that we simply forget to pause and recognize everyone who is present in our life today, to appreciate their presence, their support, and their genuine love. Often, we take it for granted. Many of us, myself included, often take our present for granted and not making time to really appreciate and to think the universe for everyone who is by our side and have been by our side for many years. But why? Why not pause our extremely busy life for just few minutes and do just that? Why not send our thanks and appreciation back to the universe showing how thankful we are for having people that we love in our love? Why not share our thoughts with those that we love and care about every day, letting them know how happy we are for having them in our life? Unfortunately, I don’t know the answer to this question. What I do know is that very often we wake up and realize that people that we cared very deeply about and loved are no longer there for us to tell them in-person how much we cared about them. So, why wait until it is tool late? No reason at all. It does not take much effort or time to show our love and appreciation to those whom we love and care about. If we are not doing this today, if we are not making time, then we simply creating excuses for our own lack of action in making a first step in approaching those that we love and letting them know how much we care and appreciate them. You never know how much the display of genuine care and appreciation may mean to the other person, whether it is your spouse, husband, parent, child, grandparent, or your close friend. Perhaps that’s what they’ve been waiting for all their life. Perhaps that is what they need to keep moving forward in life and fight through any roadblocks or challenges that they may be dealing with in their own life today. You never know. If you never take the first step and reach out to them, you may never find out until it’s too late. So, don’t wait for a better time, don’t put it off for another day, do it today, do it now, especially if people that you love and care about are right by your side, and if not, if you are separated by a long distance, then pick up a phone and give them a call, as they may be sitting by their phone right now waiting for your call. If you have an ability to drive or fly and go see your loved ones in-person, then do so. It’s not going to require much effort on your part, but it will mean a world to another person, probably more then you can possibly imagine.

One of the biggest regrets that I have is not making more time, creating more opportunities to go and see my grandparents in-person on the regular basis while they were still alive. I kept on telling myself that I can always to do so later, whether it was next day, week or month, putting my visits away for another time, because, either I was too busy or did not have financial resources available. Well, now I have one out of four grandparents alive, you bet that I make every effort to go and see him in-person every week or at the minimum every other week. I can tell you will very strong level of confidence that there’s nothing that puts a bigger smile on my grandfather’s face than seeing his grand-grand children come visiting him and spending some time with them. How much move can I ask for then seeing him and my children happy.

Many of us have people in our lives whom we care about and love, so can we say that we spend time with them regularly or at a minimum call them on the regular basis? If not, then we really should think about our present and our past and do some deep searching inside of us, asking us one question – “Why not”” I vividly remember a scene from the movie – ‘Home Alone’ – where child had asked his neighbor, why doesn’t he speak with his son? Why doesn’t he give him a call? To which neighbor replied that he believes that his son does not want to speak with him, because, of long-standing disagreement they have had with him, which also kept him from spending time with his granddaughter that he loved very much. Only after the neighbor got enough courage to call his son, he realized that such simple step was the barrier between him and his son, him and his granddaughter, one phone call was a solution to a longstanding disagreement and/or misunderstanding.
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Earlier example is exactly how many of us create barriers in our own mind that may not even exist or may be completely irrelevant. So, let’s remove those barriers in our own mind, let’s overcome any hesitations and our own egos and make a genuine effort to reach out to those around us, those whom we love and care about today, letting them know how much we care about them and live the life free of regrets about our past, present, or future. We only live once, so why waste our time living in anger, misunderstandings, disagreements, or “what if.” Be happy, be thankful for everyone that you have in your life today, and don’t waste precious time living surrounded by walls built by our own doubts and fears anchored in our mind.

I hope you enjoyed reading this module as much as I enjoyed writing it, and hope that you found it to be very useful for you or someone else that you may know. Please feel free to share this post if you know someone who may benefit from reading it same way you did
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