Module 134 - Diplomacy

Being in control of the dialogue while compromising, actively listening, and showing respect to those with whom we interact

If someone asked me – “What is the most important skill in any productive and effective dialogue?” without any hesitation I would say “Diplomacy.” So, why is diplomacy is so important for an effective dialogue and why it is not being used as often as it needs to be in important conversations and negotiations that many of us participate in on the regular basis.

Unfortunately, there’s not one good answer to this question, however, one thing that stands out to me what I am thinking about diplomacy is people’s desire to be right in order to satisfy our own egos and feel good even if conversation takes a negative/unproductive turn. We want to be and feel right even when we are wrong. Why? Because, the illusion of being right helps to boost our ego and allows us to feel good about ourselves and our actions. But, what we often forget to consider is how other people feel about our words and our actions. We miss a critical part of the bigger picture, and that is that dialogue can never be effective without mutual respect, understanding, and often compromise.

Compromise is a very important component of any diplomatic negotiation. Without compromise and genuine respect for another party in the dialogue, it is your opinion vs. someone else’s where both sides walk away from conversation with high boosted ego but in disagreement. So, what exactly are we accomplishing by being right at the expense of another person’s defeat, walking away from conversation with feeling of bitterness? We accomplish absolutely nothing in such situation, all we are doing is damaging our relationship with another person or group. So, the issue remains unresolved and once positive relationship is now damaged. Does anyone win in such situation? Of course, the answer is ‘no.’

Therefore, being diplomatic, by listening vs. arguing, being respectful of another person’s or group’s point of view and perspective, be willing to compromise, considering all sides of the dialogue is very important in having a positive, effective, and mutually beneficial conversation, dialogue and overall engagement. Remember, these points next time you engage in any conversation. Remember to be diplomatic vs. allowing your ego to only focus on your own thoughts and opinions.

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I hope you enjoyed reading this module as much as I enjoyed writing it, and hope that you found it to be very useful for you or someone else that you may know. Please feel free to share this post if you know someone who may benefit from reading it same way you did