Ways to avoid conflict while remaining in the comfort zone
Avoiding conflict and remaining in the zone
Often we are faced with difficult challenges, high pressure situations that push our patience and self-control to the max. So, how do we regain a sense of composure and calmness in such situation? Unfortunately, there isn’t a one good or right answer to this question. Why? Because, each of us are different and we respond differently to various situations in life. However, before we choose to react one way or the other and take few minutes or even seconds and ask ourselves why certain questions are being asked, requests that are being made of us, or why we are being put on the spot and go through some possible reasons in our mind before we choose to open our mouth and respond back, this exercise alone could help us avoid many unnecessary conflicting and stressful situations. We tend to be very quick in responding and voicing our concerns and disagreements to other people, but we often forget to ask ourselves the question – “Why we are behaving in the way we do?” In some situations the response or objection is not even warranted or appropriate and, of course, we would realize that if only if and when we made an effort and took just few seconds and ask ourselves some self-discovery and situation-awareness questions. This practice alone could help save many hours of our own valuable time and keep us from engaging in unpleasant conversations, and in some cases arguments.
Don’t let your ego control you
Don’t let your ego make your decisions for you. Please don’t get me wrong here, I am not saying that you should allow other people to disrespect and walk all over you, however, in many situations our actions tend to be guided by our ego alone. In such situations, there’s no time dedicated to think and analyze the situation we are in and whether the solution and best response is to keep your thoughts and objections to ourselves. Also, if we really take some time and think about why we may be placed into specific situations or why certain requests are being made of us, we would realize that our way is not always the best solution for a problem at hand, or that our skillset and experience may not be the best fit for a task at hand. So, why create problems, concerns, and unnecessary stressful situations out of thin air? Why not look for the most optimum and mutually agreed upon outcome or solution to a problem? No reason at all. We are simply allowing for our ego to take over our actions and responses.
Think before jumping to conclusions
Instead of jumping to immediate conclusions, take some time to think about a specific situation you may be in, ask yourself the question – “Why I am behaving/responding in the way I do?” Go through all possible reasons as to why you are the one who is being presented with such question, request, or problem to deal with. Don’t forget to ask yourself about your level of experience and/or knowledge in the specific area. Are you a subject matter expert in the specific area or had possibly dealt with same or similar situation in the past. Lastly, think about possible outcomes if you were to respond in the positive and understanding manner, and if you were to respond with voicing your concerns and objections, where would your response take the conversation or specific situation. All of this analysis needs to take place in your mind before responding in a written or verbal form. Following this self-analysis and situation awareness process could help many of us avoid unnecessary conflicts, arguments, and high stress/pressure situations, which in turn should create more pleasant and productive interactions with those around us, both at home and at the place of business.
I hope you enjoyed reading this module as much as I enjoyed writing it, and hope that you found it to be very useful for you or someone else that you may know. Please feel free to share this post if you know someone who may benefit from reading it same way you did
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