Aleksandr E. Kheyson | Heart & Mind of a Leader
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Module 121 - Don't sweat the small stuff

4/24/2018

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Directing energy and attention to what matters the most

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Reacting to the world around us

We go through life focusing our attention and energy on things and situations that may or may not matter in our lives. Why? Because, it is natural to react to whatever we face and come in contact with on our life’s path. That’s just what we do, that’s what we have been conditioned to do since birth. When we are little and want something that we see, we cry to let our parents and everyone else around us know that we want it. Did we really need that one thing that looked interesting and shiny? No, not necessarily, and shortly after we receive what we thought we wanted, we forget about it completely and move on to something else that we find interesting, the next shiny thing. Then, as we become teens, we focus our attention and all energy trying to fit in and be a part of a “cool” group, in order to be accepted by everyone around us. So, when something does not go as planned, ex. haircut that we just received did not come out exactly how we envisioned it, and that, for some reason, turns into major drama. Why? Because, we worry that everyone we know would notice some imperfection in style we had chosen. However, what we don’t think about is that it’s all in our mind, and that nobody else may or ever care to see what we are unhappy and worry about. Generally, what we fail to understand is that other people don’t really care about what is going on in our head.

Why do we spend our precious time and energy on thinking about things that don’t even matter or have any major impact on what’s truly important to us - our family and our future?

Even after we become adults, our values, habits, and perceptions are deeply engrained in our minds, and we simply do not know what there may be other, much more effective and productive ways to look at each situation, look at it from a big picture perspective vs. completely relying on our habits and emotions that we are so familiar with. There are so many things, situations, and people who need and deserve our full attention vs. sweating about small stuff in life. By focusing our time and energy on what really matters, we could be so much more effective in everything we do, because, we are able to see our plans, goals, values, and objectives clearly and organized in our mind. We are able to see exactly where we are, where we need to be at any given time, and people that we should surround ourselves with, people who need us and we need them. What unfortunately happens a lot is that we choose to focus on things that don’t matter in the long run, we miss critical opportunities in life that do matter.

One example that I have is being so focused on our own career, growth, and creation of financially free lifestyle, that we miss our on things that take place in the lives of our loved ones – our children, parents, wives, husbands, significant others. Then, one we finally reach the point in life when we are satisfied with our career and financial success, these precious moments are no longer there and are long gone, our kids have grown, and those who loved and cared about us may no longer be there.

Is this what we want? Do we want to find ourselves in situation in our life where precious, one-in-a-lifetime experiences are gone and so are the people who were in our life when we were too busy, focusing on our own success, wants and needs, that we simply didn’t notice anyone else around us?
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If the answer to both of these questions is a “no”, then we should seriously take a look at our own actions each day, things that we focus on, as well as people around us, and ask ourselves: “Am I focusing on what’s important, or do I worry about little things that are not important in my life today?” See what you are focusing on and worry about, see where you spend most of your time and energy each day, to understand where you are and if lifestyle or priorities adjustments are needed in order to focus on what truly matter to you.

I hope you enjoyed reading this module as much as I enjoyed writing it, and hope that you found it to be very useful for you or someone else that you may know. Please feel free to share this post if you know someone who may benefit from reading it same way you did​
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