Why is it so hard for some of us to be genuine and honest?
For many years I’ve been trying to figure out and understand why is it so difficult for some of us to be genuine in our conversations, in business and personal relationships, and just daily interactions with others, whether it is our colleagues at work or people that we meet for the very first time? Why we try to create this imaginary person whom we are not vs. just being who we are and being open and honest with others? To this day I am struggling to figure this out. I know that one of the possible reasons may be our inner desire to be liked. Another possible reason is our desire to be accepted, to be a part of a “group.” I guess that’s why people create stories and personas that are far from reality, but sound and look good to other people. However, if this is the case, then sooner or later our real persona, our true character and personality, our genuine and real thoughts and opinions would make their way to the surface of our daily lives, and everyone would be able to see everything that we’ve been hiding deep inside of us for so long, and see us for who we truly are. Why go through such difficulties? Why make our own life and lives of others more complicated and confusing, when everything can be so simple and genuine if we just be ourselves, be honest with others, and say what we think, not what we think other people would respond more favorable to?
Sure, those who are genuine and honest, those who say what they think and what’s on their mind, while remaining professional, and without worrying of what other people may think or say about them, or disapprove their point of view or perspective, may not be popular or liked by those who are accustomed to act solely in the interest and options of others, but does it matter? I personally believe that it doesn’t, not for me at least. What I do believe is it is important to be honest with yourself and others, be genuine in our conversations and intentions, be real and transparent in everything that we say and/or do. I can always tell when someone says what they think that I want to hear. When someone is dishonest and ingenuine in their words and intentions, there simply cannot be any trust established between individuals or groups, which typically leads to an ineffective personal and professional relationships.
So, how can one be genuine and honest with others without having to constantly thinking about new stories to tell that never happened? In my opinion, it is quite simple, as there is no magical approach or method here. All one should do is just be himself or herself, be and present themselves to others as who they are, genuine, transparent in their intentions and words, and honest. Tell your story, good and bad, and not the story that you have never experienced in your own life. Those who dislike you for speaking your mind and speaking the truth, would continue to dislike you even if they make it look like you are the member of their ‘fan club.’ However, they will secretly respect you for building a reputation of someone who speaks the truth and not afraid to disagree, and share personal point of view, even if it goes against a popular point of view. Why would they respect you for that you may ask? Because very few are capable of doing so – being genuine and honest every day and in everything they do, not just some days.