Aleksandr E. Kheyson | Heart & Mind of a Leader
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Article 185 - Stop lying to yourself

7/28/2020

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Facing the reality and making difficult decisions in our personal and professional lives to go from where others want and expect us to be to where we genuinely want and strive to be

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There will always be people around us who genuinely happy for us when something great and exciting happens in our life and will happily celebrate it with us. However, there will always be those who secretly wish to see us fail or face obstacles in life, and that’s what makes them feel good inside, feel better about themselves. Therefore, it is my belief that the more we spend time being around those who want to see us fail, the more such energy and circumstances naturally would gravitate towards us, bringing problems, obstacles, and unhappiness. On the other hand, I believe, if we spend more time around people who wish us success and happiness, that is exactly what we will attract to ourselves. So, we should often take a close look around and see if people who are surrounding us every day, with whom we interact on the regular basis, and ask ourselves – “are they helping us to pursue goals and dreams of ours, or are they holding us back with constant negative outlook on life and opportunities they we encounter on our path?”

Pay close attention to words and actions of those whom you are analyzing. Anyone can tell you what you want to hear at any given moment, but very few actually mean what they say and follow through on their words with actions, helping you to tackle a difficult situation and cheering you up when you need a boost of motivation. Those individuals who only tell you what you want to hear, making it look like they care, typically aren’t actually there when you need their help and support. Then, when you overcome a particular challenge or tough time in your life, individuals who were not there for you when you needed them, all of the sudden re-appear  in your life like nothing had ever happened.

With all this in mind, we should be very careful and selective with whom we share our life’s happy and sad moments, our wins and our failures, our dreams and our fears, because, those who care and wish for you to be happy, will do everything they can to help you achieve your goals and dreams, and those who want to see you fail in life, would celebrate every moment when things in your life don’t go according to plan.

It takes time to get a good understanding of your surroundings and to get a good look at true intentions and actions of people around you. But, once you do have a good understanding of what is happening around you, at that point you would need to make your own decision if you are ok with everything to remain as is, or if you wish to see a change to take place. In terms of change, perhaps, it’s time to move on from where you are professionally and seek something different, something that’s more closely aligns with your wants and aspirations. Or, maybe, it’s time to change where you are today and, explore the worlds around you by using different states, different countries, and search for things, people, and places in life that motivate and inspire you to be your best self every day, and be happy. Change can be scary sometimes, but also changing your present and pursue something that you’ve always wanted could be the most rewarding thing that you could do for yourself and those around you. Then, once you find your happiness, keep it protected, keep it to yourself and those who genuinely want for your to be happy. As Kahlil Gibron once said: “Travel and tell no one, live a true love story, and tell no one, live happily and tell no one, people ruin beautiful things.”
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